the times they are a changin’

…at the chino house.

Because my babies are growing up.  I know that this should not surprise me.  But still it does.  It catches me off guard that my preteen does not want to hop in the car everytime I mention the library.  I feel a little lost when I realize that my children have stopped gathering around me like ducklings.  I still have one baby duckling of course.  Then there are the middle two that come and go, but are starting to be more independent.  And then there is the oldest, and he is trying to fly the coop.

One evening after VBS, Cole wanted to spend the night with some friends.  Now, since it is summer, this is not unusual, but I had made plans…those four words, I had made plans, that right there is where I get into trouble.  I like to make plans, and then I like for everyone to act like my plans are the greatest ideas they have ever heard of.  Goody goody gumdrops! That’s what your children are SUPPOSED to say when you tell them your plans for the day.  We are so happy that God made you our mother! Ok, that’s taking it a little far, but you get the point.

So, I had been chatting with a dear friend about ways to enlarge our creative minds this summer with some art projects, and she had graciously agreed to come over and help us stretch our own canvases as a fun start to summer art.  It would involve a staple gun.  And a hammer.  And banging and large movement.  This project was designed for a 12 year old boy.

But then, when presented with the oppurtunity to spend the night with friends, all of a sudden the art project had absolutely no allure.  Let’s face it.  Since it was my idea, it never had any allure for Cole.  But I really felt that once we actually did it, he would get into it.

So I had to decide if I was going to make Cole be a part of the family art activity or go with his friends.  It seems simple enough.  The problem is that every decision seems to boil down to a decision between family and friends right now.  And there is no way to make everyone happy.  Since Cole was spending the night with two friends who happen to have mothers who are in my corner, we were able to work out a compromise where he got to spend the night, but then all three boys came and joined in the art project the next morning.  Sound a little complicated?  Throw in a devastated Ben who was not getting to have a sleepover and the possibility that I was going to overwhelm my friend with three middle school boys instead of just one.

It all turned out ok.  Lora is brilliant and wonderful and we all stretched canvases together.  It should, of course, come as no surprise to anyone that Cole’s friends, Alex and Tony, were WAY more into the project than Cole.

I tell you this story because most of our summer days have been like this so far.  Navigating the span that my kids are currently covering is awkward for me, and I have not been doing it with much grace.

In fact, I recently realized that I’m grieving the way we are changing.  I want to do summer as we have always done, where we go swim and read and camp and play, and though there are squabbles, we all enjoy the same activities.  We at least all enjoy being in the same place. I’m not even going to delve into the matter of Cole’s disgust over our belonging to the family swimming pool instead of the other pool, you know, Mom, the one EVERYONE goes to.

Every day seems new and unfamiliar.  I wonder if I will ever get the hang of it.  I pray for wisdom to know which plans to hold onto and which ones to release. When to leave him behind and when to make him come along.

book discussion guide: the heaven tree

The Heaven Tree Trilogy is our summer selection for our boxed lunch book club.  We are discussing one part of the trilogy during each of the summer months.  Set in Medieval England on the border of Wales, the story is a complete departure from anything we’ve done so far in our book club.   Kings and lords, thirteenth century politics and tales of passion, love and honor are all intertwined.

I first read this book about four years ago and I can’t believe how it has completely taken me in again, even though I already know what is going to happen.  Good books are like good movies that way.  When you watch/read them again, you are rooting and hoping for something other than that which you already know is coming.  The inevitable.  If the story were to unfold in any other way, it just would not be the same.

Edmund will allow himself to fall into the hands of the White Witch.

Macbeth will murder Macduff’s family.

Juliet will not wake up before Romeo kills himself.

Anne will refuse to marry Gilbert when he first proposes.

Pollyanna will fall out of the tree.

And Harry Talvace will be true to his word whatever the cost.

Questions for Discussion:

(don’t read if you are still needing to finish the book as there are “spoilers” in the questions!)

1. Early in the novel, the relationship between Harry and his father is strained as Harry becomes old enough to be trained in the running of the estate.  Why do think this is?  Do you see any way the  story between father and son could have ended differently?

2. After Harry and Adam have run from their home and into the safety of the abbey, Harry is discussing their situation with Hugh de Lacy, the abbot, who says to him (p.70),

Harry, for God’s sake and for your own, bend that neck of yours before life bend it for you or tear your head from your shoulders.  It is not possible to live as you want to live; every man must give way sooner of later, kings, popes, all who live yield some step backwards on occasion to remain upright and draw breath.  Learn humility, while there’s yet time, before life teach you with harsher beatings than ever you suffered yet.

Would you have sided with Hugh de Lacy or Harry at this point in the story?  Why?

3. Right after this encounter with the abbot, Harry, though discouraged, finds himself delighting in the world in spite of himself.  “The world was busy and beautiful and diverse, no less now that the abbot had failed him; and for the life of him he could not help delighting in it.”

What makes this possible?

5. You want too much.  Men, and countries, and causes fail you because you expect too much of them.  Benedetta to Isambard (170)

She says this just before she agrees to go to Parfois with him as his mistress.  Why do you think she decides to go?

6. Why do you think Harry is able to bind himself to Isambard so easily after having broken away from his childhood on an estate?  (The incident with John the Fletcher and the dog (pp181-2)  seems more harsh than any of Sir Eudo’s dealings with his villeins.)

7. One day at Parfois, Benedetta and Harry are talking about Prince Llewelyn’s bowing to King John.  Benedetta defends the prince’s dignity in this action. There is a certain kind of pride that both Harry and Isambard share, an unwillingness to bow or humble oneself to another.  When Harry challenges Benedetta on this same kind of humbling, she says “The pride of a woman must be a different kind of pride.” (p. 216)  What does she mean by this?

8. What is the heaven tree?

9. Do you think that Isambard ever loved Benedetta?  Explain.

10. Isambard says to Harry soon after his marriage to Gillies, (p.252),

“To have all!” The voice labored with astonishment and despair.  “To have everything there is in life, even that last and greatest of all!  What right has one man to so much?  Where is God’s justice?”

Are there people in life who really have it all?  Is Harry a Medieval Ferris Bueller?  What is your response to people like Harry?

11. Gilleis experiences classic pregnant joy (p. 299) when she realizes that she is going to have a baby.  Can you relate a time you were “filled to overflowing” in this way?

12.  This quote on p. 316 in some ways sums up the entire book.  At what point, if any, did you see that this was the course Harry’s life would have to take?

From Adam’s hand to Owen’s head, there was no inconsistency and no chance stroke.  The deliberate assumption of responsibility, the affirmation and the challenge, had to be repeated over and over, because the world was still as it had been, and he was still as he had been, and as he would be to his death. Once he had set his own judgment against the world’s judgment, the end was implicit in the beginning.  Somewhere at the bottom of his heart he had always known that the last choice he made in the teeth of power and privilege and law must be mortal, and that nonetheless he neither could nor would turn aside from making it.

So he had no just complaint against God or man, and he would prefer none.  He had what he had chosen, he had never been one to haggle about the price.

13. Why doesn’t Harry take longer to finish his work when he knows what the end of his work will bring?

14. In the end, who do you think lost the most?  Would you have changed anything about the story?

it all starts tomorrow night

We’re getting ready for Vacation Bible School around here.  Three Chinos are attending and the other three are helping.  Tonight we were driving home and Cole was talking about doing the puppets at VBS.  Then he asked me what I was doing.

Me: I’m telling Bible stories.

Cole: What Bible stories are you going to tell?

Me: Well, tomorrow night’s story is about Gideon.

Ben, from the back of the van: I LOVE GIDEON!

Me: Really, Ben, why?

Ben: That story is SO COOL!

Me, a little unsure that Ben really knows who Gideon is: Tell me the story Ben. Tell me why it’s cool.

Ben:  Well Gideon is this guy who’s not really that strong, but an angel came to tell him to fight the, um, I can’t remember their names but they’re these bad people…

Me: The Midianites?

Ben: Yeah, them.  And Gideon wanted some signs so he put out his fleece and it was dry and everything around it was wet and then the next night the opposite happened.  So he went to fight the Midianites but there was too much.  So he sent some away but there was still too much.  Then finally there was just a little but they went at night and they WON THE ARMY!!

There you go.

I should just let him tell it.

summer has been good to us

We’ve only been out of school for a week, but we are in the thick of summer for sure!  Even though this much activity makes me a little nervous, I am trying to adjust, hang on tight and enjoy the ride because I know it will all be over in a few short weeks.

Our first week of summer…in pictures:

We joined the summer reading program!

which means we get loads of little plastic toys!  YES!

and we filled our baskets with books!

We went to see UP with our cousins and Grandjules, and we ALL LOVED IT!  Go see it!

We went to see our friends, Michael and Sandy Boultinghouse which is always a delight!

All the boys got their crazies out!

And Mary Polly got her animal fix.

Sandy helped everyone with bait, while Michael coached Taido on the best spots to cast.

You might need your magnifying glass to see the fish Simon caught!

Plenty of room.  Plenty of time.

This pavilion is one of my favorite places on earth to spend an afternoon.  Michael built it and is always improving on it.  He has plans for adding a smoker to the back.

Sunshine makes me sleepy.

Everyone gets a turn to stand in the hole and crank the ice cream at the Boultinghouses!

Note the lip in the concrete so all the melted ice drains off the pavilion!

The fish we caught is on the grill!  Thank you Michael and Sandy for a wonderful meal and a lovely day!

After the relaxing day at the  Boultinghouses, we were all geared up for our church’s 25th anniversary party!  Highlights of the day included Cole’s singing in the youth choir and Ben’s being baptized by Taido, and in the same swimming pool where both Taido and I were baptized a long, long time ago.  Thankfully, Whitney got pictures of both events.

photo by whitney loibner

photo by whitney loibner

photo by whitney loibner

photo by whitney loibner

photo by whitney loibner

photo by whitney loibner

photo by whitney loibner

On Monday, Cole and Taido left for D Camp, while the rest of us stayed behind and slowed down…our lower key events this week included:

collecting our first summer harvest!

(Actually, on the garden front, I’ve been engaged in an all out war with the bugs…more on my obsessing over little tiny bugs later!)

a trip to the pool in the cool of the morning (80 degrees here in arkansas)

playing with the coolest paper dolls EVER, ordered for us by our Aunt Whit!

making a NEW and IMPROVED summer chore chart!

and a HOMECOMING blackberry pie for our campers who came back home today!  They are very tired, but maybe after they are rested up, we’ll hear all about camp!

Maybe Taido will even blog about it.

HAPPY SUMMER TO YOU!!

berry tart

I almost was NOT going to tell you about this recipe because of how sad I am about my blurry tart picture, but friends, that would be just mean.  To rob you of the opportunity to make this dessert, which was a big mouthful of summer perfect, would be unkind.  So just use the picture for general knowledge of assembly and make this immediately!

Summer Berry Tarts

(makes twelve four inch tarts)

Sweet Tart Dough

2 1/2 sticks unsalted butter, at room temperature

1 1/2 cups powdered sugar

Lightly packed 1/2 cup ground blanched almonds

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

2 large eggs, at room temperature

3 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

Place the butter in the work bowl of a food processor fitted with the metal blade and process, scraping down the sides of the bowl as needed, until creamy. Add the powdered sugar and process to blend well. Add the ground almonds, salt, and vanilla and continue to process until smooth, scraping the bowl as necessary. Lightly stir the eggs together with a fork and, with the machine running, add them to the work bowl; process for a few seconds to blend. Finally, add the flour and pulse until the mixture just starts to come together. When the dough forms moist curds and clubs and then starts to form a ball, stop.  The dough will be very soft, and that’s just as it should be.  Divide dough into 12 balls and wrap each in plastic.  Refrigerate for at least 4 hours, or for up to 2 days, before rolling and baking.  Butter 12 small tart pans.  Roll each ball out and press into tart pans.  Roll your rolling pin across the rim of the pan to cut off the excess.  Chill for at least 30 minutes in the refrigerator. (Repeat with remaining dough, if necessary.)

When you are ready to bake the crust(s), preheat the oven to 350°F. Line the crust with e circle of parchment paper or foil and fill with dried beans.

Bake the crusts for 30 to 35 minutes, or until golden. Transfer to a rack to cool.

Fill with pastry cream (below) and top with berries of your choice.  Wait to assemble the tarts until just before serving.

Pastry Cream

1 large box instant vanilla pudding

2 cups milk

1 cup whipping cream

1 tablespoon sugar

1/2 teaspoon almond extract

Mix pudding with two cups milk.  Beat for two minutes.  Refrigerate until pudding becomes firm.

In a separate bowl beat whipping cream and sugar until soft peaks form.  Fold whipping cream into pudding.  Gently stir in almond extract. Refrigerate until just before serving.

Sweet Pastry Dough is from Dorie Greenspan’s Baking.  The ground almonds in it make it super yummy!  The pastry cream is something Anna and I have been making for years, but she perfected it in recent years by substituting real whipping cream for the cool whip we used to use!  For shame!

rainy day links

Here are the happy corners of the internet that I’m enjoying…since it’s a rainy Memorial Day.

It was a rainy Memorial Day for me last year too, but at least this year I am in a HOUSE!  I can’t believe that this time last year we had just begun our grand adventure.  This summer is looking a little boring.

However, Whitney and I are planning a little road trip to Springfield, MO to visit the author of A Beautiful Mess, Elsie Flannigan.  She keeps a shop there from which I would like a lot of things.

Particularly this:

And I LOVE her sweet girls: the paintings and…

the paper dolls!

I almost daily read the thoughtfully written posts at the blog, Holy Experience.  And collect book recommendations.  Here’s a recent post I enjoyed.  I love hearing about how God reveals Himself through the every day tasks on a family farm.  Hot coffee+this blog=a great way to start the day!

Oh, and if you’re a little late on teacher appreciation, as I am with some of my kids’ teachers, here is a darling idea for an end of the year gift, courtesy of Creature Comforts:

There is a super great Lisa Leonard giveaway happening at Design Mom.  Remember that necklace that Sarabeth won.  You could get one too!

Happy Memorial Day!

P.S. If you love to enter giveaways, Simple Mom is doing an entire week of giveaways!

Also, I would really love to win this bike!  You too can enter to win it here.

garden update

So we planted this garden.  And then came the flood.  For real!  I think it rained for a month.  I know it rained for a month of Sundays because I left our Easter clothes hanging on the wall for that long waiting to wear them again on a day suitable for outdoor pictures.  Now it’s been so long that I’m not sure I want to fight that battle.  Yikes.

It finally stopped raining last week sometime and we were able to assess the damage.  The garden was looking a little sad.  Lots of yellow leaves on the tomato plants.  And the dirt had sunk way down low like it was trying to slither away.  And much of it had done just that.  Poured on out the sides of our cute little borders.

Some new dirt.  Some mending.  Some new planting.  And things are looking much better.

Simon helped with the dirt.

He loved the dirt.  The clean up: not so much.

A little hay makes the whole garden look happier.

Now I actually want to BE out here.

Watching things grow.

Scarecrows coming soon!!

book discussion guide: secret language

Boxed Lunch Book Club Today!

My discussion questions are a little slim, but mainly we are just going to talk about sisters!  Sisters are the best…and the worst.  I love my sister, but we hated each other for several years there before we realized we couldn’t live without one another!  I’m hoping that reading this book makes everyone want to share their sister stories!

Questions:

(There are also great questions in the back of this book for a discussion!)

In the first chapter (p.9), the two sisters, Connie and Faith, are left alone in a hotel room by their parents.  Their father, Billy, has just told Connie that whining makes her face look ugly.  After he leaves, Faith tells her not to belive him, that she his pretty no matter what he says.  Connie decideds to believe Faith.  How does this scene show what life is like for the two sisters as young girls?  How does their relationship with each other help them cope with their dysfunctional parents?

On opening night in New York (p.14), when Connie and Faith get to go along to the show, all dressed up, what do their two different responses to this event tell you about the two girls?  How are they different from one another?

Connie is now in high school.  Faith is working.  They are without their parents. What does the following description tell you about their relationship at this point?  They are inseparable, and separate, like parallel lines, defined by the distance between them.  Still, the thought of a year from now with Connie gone, chokes Faith a little.  She doesn’t think she knows how to live without her. (p.26)  Can you share how this description fits one of your family relationships?

p. 28.  As Faith’s relationship with Joe blossoms, the author writes that even though she has made out with a boy in the back seat of a car, she has never before knocked a boy on the arm in play.  Why are these two interactions so different?  What makes the latter mean so much more for Faith?

How do you see the affect of their childhood playing out into adulthood for Connie and Faith?

The family churns around them, with plans and alternative plans and contingency plans for getting her to the hospital in case the baby comes early, or late, or in the morning, or at night. p. 47  Do you think that Faith ever feels like she is a part of Joe’s family?  Why or why not?

On p. 48, the author says this about Faith: She will never catch up to his version of the world. This is the beginning of the end of their marriage.  What happened?  Who is at fault?  Do you think they could have saved their marriage at this point?  How?  The official break up happens on pp.52-53.  What about this scene stands out to you?

p.56  It is an unpleasant but strangely welcome feeling: her old, frozen self, finally delivered from the terrible trouble of love. What does this quote say to you about Faith?  Why does mean by the phrase terrible trouble of love? What patterns from your early life do find it easiest to fall back into?

Why is Faith able to wait for the chickadees?  p.131  she stands the cold, the birds’ indifference, and the inherent foolishness of this act with the patience of one who has not time but well–a whole canyon–of faith

On p. 201, Connie says to Faith about Isadora:  I thought I had a real sister.  WHY does she say this??  What things have you said to your sister (or other family members) that you wish you could take back?

How does the arrival of Isadora change the story for Connie and Faith?  Over the course of the book, how does her presence change Connie and Faith?

On p. 218, when Faith and Joe are talking about where things went wrong, Faith talks about how terrified she was when her children were born that she would turn into her parents.  She remembered feeling helpless to take care of Connie all over again.  What fears do you face about parenting that you think might be from your own childhood?

With which sister do you most identify?  Share why.

I’m down to the wire on getting this written out, so sometimes you just have to put a Trader Joe’s pretzel on a spoonful of peanut butter and call it lunch!  Happy Thursday!

rhubarb berry pie

I fell in absolute LOVE with rhubarb last summer in Vancouver BC, so when I heard through the grapevine that they had some at the store, I added it to my list.  Taido went to the store for me after returning from his adventures in Canada.  Perhaps he was feeling a little guilty about being gone for so long, because he bought all the rhubarb they had.  Didn’t even look at how much it was.  We won’t talk about how much it was, because he also ran kids around to activities, addressed ugly attitudes and dealt with a certain left-until-the-last-minute-gargantuan-research project…guess who?

So I’m on my third rhubarb dessert today.  Keep it coming, all the little Chinos say, so we’ll be having rhubarb crisp tonight.  Here’s the pie we enjoyed earlier this week.  We are having a bit of an ant problem in our house, due to the wildly unusual constant rain showers of the past month.  When I asked my family what the best solution would be to keep the little ickies from the rest of our precious pie, they said:  EAT IT ALL RIGHT NOW!

The original recipe called for strawberries and rhubarb, but I substituted blueberries for half of the strawberries and it came out great.

Also, I am a big fan of Martha Stewart’s Pate Brisee (because it is all butter…no thank you on the Crisco), so I used that recipe for my crust.

Rhubarb Berry Pie

1 recipe pate brise (recipe follows)

3 1/2 cups 1/2-inch-thick slices trimmed rhubarb (1 1/2 pounds untrimmed)

1 1/2 cups strawberries, quartered

1 1/2 cups blueberries, fresh or frozen

1/2 cup (packed) golden brown sugar

1/2 cup sugar

1/4 cup cornstarch

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/4 teaspoon salt

Mix filling ingredients together.  Let sit while you roll out the crust.

Roll out half of the dough.  Place in a 9 inch pie plate.  Pour filling into crust.

Roll out other half and either top the crust, or slice first and make a lattice crust.

Bake at 400 degreees for 25 minutes.  Reduce temperature to 350 degrees and bake 30-40 more minutes, until golden brown.

Pate Brisee

Ingredients

Makes 1 double-crust or 2 single-crust 9- to 10-inch pies

2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon sugar

1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, chilled and cut into small pieces

1/4 to 1/2 cup ice water

In the bowl of a food processor, combine flour, salt, and sugar. Add butter, and process until the mixture resembles coarse meal, 8 to 10 seconds.

With machine running, add ice water in a slow, steady stream through feed tube. Pulse until dough holds together without being wet or sticky; be careful not to process more than 30 seconds. To test, squeeze a small amount together: If it is crumbly, add more ice water, 1 tablespoon at a time.

Divide dough into two equal balls. Flatten each ball into a disc and wrap in plastic. Transfer to the refrigerator and chill at least 1 hour. Dough may be stored, frozen, up to 1 month.

mother’s day mercies

I’m pretty sure that Taido was still asleep in his luxurious condo in Whistler BC while these cards were being delivered to me yesterday morning.  Mary Polly and Ben instructed me to wake them up at 6am and then to go back to bed.  Mary Polly asked me early in the week to write out “the recipes” for coffee and oatmeal.  Then she made cards and put Ben in charge of toast.  Efforts to involve Cole and Simon were futile and it turned out to actually be a relief to MP that Cole spent the night elsewhere on Saturday night since the only thing he had agreed to do was set his alarm so she and Ben could get up on time.  He wouldn’t even sign the card she made.

Simon and I slept in while also listening to the commotion downstairs hoping no one would get burned.  I couldn’t believe it but they really managed to fix breakfast and deliver it to me on a tray with flowers completely on their own.  NO HELP.  I wish I had taken a picture of my tray, but they sat on the bed and watched me eat it.  I was pretty much in tears reading their cards and notes.  You see, Mother’s Day came at the end of a long week of Taido’s being gone.  He left last Monday and so I was way past done by yesterday.  But then there were my little sweeties taking up the slack on Mother’s Day.  So darling.

Recently I have read about trying to take pictures of the things that might seem ugly in your life but really represent something beautiful.  I tried to take a few of these this weekend.  Usually when I see these on other blogs, the pictures actually ARE beautiful, but these aren’t necessarily.  Still to me they each represent a small victory from a long week.

I made it to storytime where Simon made this dog puppet.

We started a scarecrow project on a rainy day.

Art room remnants.

Dishes from my breakfast in bed. Note the burnt toast.

When I went to turn in for the night, my bed was still unmade and the cards still on it.  Cole had even added a note where Mary Polly had left him a spot.  He might have even used the word grateful.