today i went to our regular early morning service at church and then, because a sweet friend of ours was singing in the choir, whitney and i raced over to make the 11 am service downtown at first pres. our friend had really downplayed her special christmas choir service and i had not given much forethought to what i would do with simon (throw him in a car with my brother and his boys as it turns out), so we almost did not go. it is sad to me that i would not have even known what a blessing i would have missed receiving had we not gone. the gift of leaving a place and being so full of thanks for jesus, the long expected one. it occurs to me that so much of life is this way. we don’t know what we’re missing.

but today i did not miss it. for the third sunday of advent, we worshiped with our own familiar and precious friends at fellowship and then had the amazing privilege of participating in a beautifully crafted high church event that included many of my favorite traditional christmas hymns and many others i haven’t even heard before. for reasons that make perfect sense to me, we don’t sing these songs at our church. we don’t stand up and sit down and stand up and sit down and follow a liturgy and hear the christmas story read from the king james version by children and adults wearing their christmas best. we don’t have a string quartet or a very loud organ or hard wooden pews. we don’t have stained glass. and we are not the church in which my grandmother and her sister were married, together, on the same day in 1945.

i loved participating in this form of worship that is unfamiliar to me. its novelty enhanced its richness. we sat very near the front, which i think accounts for the fact that there were moments that the music felt as if it were just made for me. that is ridiculous of course. the worship is all for God. but i would get caught up in a line of a song or a moment that the choir sang a particularly haunting flow of harmonies and i just gripped my little program, soaking it in. treasuring. such rich music. words that i want to string up on my tree so they will stay in my heart all season, peppered with readings that stretched from genesis to the gospels about the coming of jesus. jesus. he has come. he is coming. we talked at fellowship this morning about the hope that we have in his having come and his coming again. and i cried at first pres as the choir sang the names of jesus, wonderful counselor, the mighty God, the everlasting father, the prince of peace. reminding me why i am hoping in him. they sang them over and over again, for unto us a child is born. i sat up tall. yes, i’m thinking. he has come! so i’m glad when we get to stand back up and sing, though i fumbled with my hymnal clumsily trying to find my place…mild he lays his glory by, born that man no more may die. born to raise the sons of earth, born to give them second birth! (at this point i am shouting. let my voice be heard over the organ!) hark the herald angels sing, glory to the newborn king! i love these words. there is so much hope in them. i don’t care that we are uncomfortable (read cold) or that the service is long, i just love these words. they are so true. i laid around all day yesterday (it was dark and cold and i was very tired), mostly reading. i read two novels, neither of much consequence, but every once in a while i would find a line of truth. oh yes, that is exactly true. what i loved about the songs this morning is that the words were truth upon truth upon truth. floods of, oh yes, that is exactly it filling up my heart. a feast of lyrics and liturgy and scripture. i left with a feeling similar to having indulged in a magnificent meal. and i am glad to have my little program to remember back through each course. my menu. holding on…to waiting for jesus.

truth about me (or humanity)

that mourns in lonely exile here

longing heart

the lonely and the unloved

all sorrow and repining

truth about christmas

our joy hath now begun

born to set thy people free

word of the father, now in flesh appearing

tidings of comfort and joy

how silently the wondrous gift is given

dawn on our darkness and lend us your aid

hope of all the earth thou art

truth about my hope in jesus

death’s dark shadows put to flight

save us all from satan’s power when we were gone astray

from our sins and fears release us

rule in all our hearts alone

God imparts to human hearts the blessings of his heaven