yesterday taido and the kids took a break from skiing. during simon’s nap, we went for a walk from the house where we are staying to some property that taido’s dad owned when he was alive. he started a house on this land when taido was 13 and worked on it on and off for 5-7 years before basically abandoning the less than half built structure to move to santa cruz and then to colorado where he was living at the time of his death in 2002. our outing to see the house took about 2 hours even though it was only about a mile and a half away. the whole outing was a chance for the kids to ask all sorts of qustions about taido’s childhood and family, especially his father…his relationship with his dad, his father’s second family and his tragic death. each question led to more questions…all the way there and back. the kids asked and taido talked, speaking of people and times about which we rarely hear. as i listened to him and watched him turn off the dirt road and traipse through snow like a child, looking for this forgotten land of his childhood, i realized that he was indulging a barely visible nostalgia, a remembering i had forgotten he was capable of. i shouldn’t have been so surprised to see this in him. our previous visits to taos (three times in thirteen years of being married) have all unearthed these expressions of happy, though not untainted thoughts from his heart. taido spent his vacations here in taos, whole summers of roaming these hills and woods with his sister, free as a child should be.

everything our kids learned yesterday they had to ask, but between the three of them, they managed to get quite a bit of the story. taido’s story is rich with interesting detail, and as our kids grow older i am certain that they will ask for more. this story of their dad’s is also theirs. they are related to this story in a way that i am not. i know it will be important to them to fill in some of the blanks that were left yesterday. but walking home in the sunshine after finding the house, which was both fun (mission accomplished!) and sad (what is there is falling apart), i was grateful for the time my children are having this week with their sweet daddy, in a place he holds dear in his heart. and for the glimpse of the sentimental in taido, a rare treasure.