in the moments of clarity between the clouds of sickness, i have been thinking a lot about what it means to be great. this has been a conversation on my heart for a while now. last weekend, a friend and i spent a late night talking about how we celebrate people’s failures because it makes us feel better about ourselves…because we have this idea that there can only be a few who are great. and then we studied matthew 18 in bsf this week, where the disciples ask jesus what it takes to be the greatest. working through those questions and hearing carla talk about this word “great” as God sees it and as the world sees it has worked its way through me this weekend. and it is serving as a filter for all of the other muck i hear and experience.

and it comes to this sad truth. jesus said it. carla said it. my friend and i said it last week.

the world loves to see people taken down.

we don’t rejoice in another’s success, because somehow we feel there will be less “great” leftover for us. when someone succeeds, we sit back, watch and wait…for them to fail. or fall. or both.

why do we do this? why don’t we long to see each other lifted up? why are our hearts so dark? as dark as my head stuffed with the cold that threatens to explode it at any moment?

and in the midst of it…hearing different people tell their stories of being stomped on by the world or by a trusted other…a song has filled my heart. again, from the worship ipod selection. simon and i sat with our sick selves on my yoga mat this morning, praying as we listened to this song over and over. (i think he was praying…)

broken but singing

my life is shining

broken but singing

my life is shining

the song is called walk the world (charlie hall). it’s about shining the love of jesus in the world. which is great. a different kind of great. great in God’s economy. because God chose the lowly, the despised, the weak things of this world. and that’s what i am. i love that picture. all the people i know that i am lifting up (myself included)…this is the prayer i said for them today. that even though we are broken, that we would still be singing and shining. and for that alone, we are great. and there’s no shortage of room for this kind of great.