…because I don’t know how you’re doing it.

The Chino House dad was away last week, and let me tell you…it was rough.  The Saturday he left I was all geared up.  I had a stack of books to read and projects I was going to accomplish.  I was mentally prepared to actually enjoy Taido’s being away.  Less laundry.  Simple meals every night.  No meetings to prepare for.  Just me and the kids, the first week back to school.  It was going to be smooth sailing.

The kids were less delusional.  PLEASE TAKE US WITH YOU! They begged him not to leave them alone with me.  Add insult to injury.  He was going to Colorado.  To go skiing.

But still I persevered through their bad attitudes.  I gave pep talks.  We instituted Bible Time, which has been missing from our morning routine all fall since Cole leaves before anyone else is up.  We had a family meeting.  We rescheduled Bible Time, and we planned to have a good week together.  With no dad.

Friends, I am telling you, I set myself up for success this week in every way I know how.  I was well stocked with groceries and meal plans.  I went to yoga in the rain on Monday and Tuesday.  I went to BSF on Wednesday.  I got up early and made apple pancakes and blueberry muffins.  We started our evening routine early every night so that I wouldn’t feel behind.  I made sure we had plenty of time to read Ida B. I stayed on top of the dishes so I wouldn’t get overwhelmed.

But I am here to tell you that despite my very best efforts to keep it all together, when our dad is not at home, all hell can and will break loose.  It’s just a matter of when and how.  Let’s revisit the last time that Taido left us for an entire week.   Oh yes, I was camping in the Pacific Northwest with my mother and four children and we had everything stolen from us!  It was like there was a sign on the van that said, No dad in sight.  Pick us!  Pick us!

In short, here is the list of minor (minor in that no one was starving, dying or in the middle of a war zone) disasters that occurred last week while Taido was skiing in Colorado, which strangely also qualifies for him as working.

Sunday: At elevate, the jr high youth ministry that Taido is not here to oversee, Cole breaks a window in the youth building.

Monday: The bus does not come and get Cole.  He runs to a friends’ house in the pouring down rain and bums a ride, not daring to come home and ask me for one when there are three kids still asleep here.  Later that day, I forget piano.

Tuesday: Cole forgets his homework.  (We got off easy on Tuesday.)

Wednesday: Cole misses recess because he is not wearing a belt, is belittled by a substitute teacher and forgets his homework again.  I pick up my van from a shop because I do not want to pay the $864 they want from me in order to fix it.  They charge me $84 for the diagnosis.  I decide we can live without heat in the van.  The weather is getting warmer anyway.  That evening I make French onion soup which none of the kids are going to eat, neither my kids nor Cole’s friend, Tony, but I make it anyway as a treat for me because I LOVE it.  When I finish making the soup, I ladle the piping hot, cognac-scented brown liquid into a bowl, sit down in a chair to relax and enjoy my soup, only to be pounced on by Simon, who spills my untasted soup all over the insides of my thighs and his hands, burning us both and causing me to stand up shouting and immediately strip down to my underwear in front of not just my children, but also Cole’s friend.

Thursday: Simon covers his face with my lip gloss.  (Okay, that could happen any day.)  Cole gets a short form for forgetting his homework again.

Friday:  I wake up with a splitting headache.  At 10am, I get a call from Cole saying that I have to come to the school and talk to the assistant principal because he’s in trouble.  I scramble to get Simon settled, and then I go and meet with Cole, the assistant principal and the school counselor.  Cole ends up getting on-campus suspension for four days.  He has not been in trouble at school all year until yesterday.  I break down in the meeting crying and can barely pull myself together enough to collect Cole and leave the building, a building for which I already retain absolutely NO good feelings, per my own horrific year there.  At 10pm, Taido sends me a text message that he is on the side of the road somewhere in Colorado with a broken down van.  I go bed thinkng…we’re 0 for 2 on vans at the Chino House, and 0 for 1 on the Daddy homecoming that we so desperately need tomorrow.

Taido rolled in around midnight on Saturday night after spending the night in Colorado and getting a fan belt fixed early on Saturday morning.  To say that I was a wreck by the time he got home is a severe understatement.  However, a good four or five hours alone at the library on Sunday afternoon was a step in the right direction of the restoration of my spiralling soul.  And an afternoon at the park with their dad seemed to do the same for everyone else’s.