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On Friday morning, after it snowed all night at camp, I was pretty sure we were not going anywhere. Even as we loaded up the cars and knocked the deep deep powder off of them, I thought really…we are going to be sitting back by the fire in our cabins before long. Then we actually started down the mountain. Not 50 yards down the driveway, we stopped. We were all lined up behind a large van piled with teenagers and skis pulling a trailer loaded down with luggage. My husband was at the wheel of that precarious vehicle and I kept envisioning it going off the side of the mountain as we slipped in the snow in our rather small minivan.
Later in the day, after the hanging off the edge of the cliff was all over and my stomach had settled from its terrified state into the post-terror phase of irritably angry, I said to my beloved husband, I love it that you aren’t afraid to get down the mountain even when the situation looks grim. It’s great that you aren’t held back by fear. I just want you to appreciate my fear that your willingness to always push on can sometimes translate into foolishness.
We talked about fear this week. A huge advantage to being a member of the FC (as opposed to the LSD) was that we heard Frog and Toad stories every night, presented to us by our own dear friends, the dramatic and the dude. The night that Frog and Toad faced their fears, we named out loud the beasts that make us afraid. The dark, spiders, dying, even snails. Mine is heights. Though I have reached a lot of them with my crazy family, I still get this little flip flop in my stomach near a cliff or on a chair lift without a guard rail. Frog shared the verse with us in Joshua that reminds us that we need not fear anything on this earth. Our God is with us. Have courage.
aren't they cute?
One of the kids among us recited this verse each night. Still, though, I forget it. Sometimes life is hurling in a direction I am not sure that I want to go. I want everyone to stop so we can just think about it a little more. Consider the options. Maybe there is a way out of driving this van down this particular mountain right this minute.
After we braved the snowy roads, the lack of heat/defroster in my car and the grouch within me, I had a beautiful sunny afternoon of skiing at Copper Mountain. Mary Polly and Ben skied their first black diamond. Ben asked me to take his picture on a mogul. We road speedy chairlifts with maps on the guard rails. We wore ourselves out on the long runs. And when we were dead dog tired and it was time to make out way back to the vans, I was trudging through the village carrying my second load of skis when I saw this sign in a store window. It made me laugh.
It’s not necessarily that Taido faces fear better than me. Maybe it just has more to do with the pace he keeps. No time for thinking.
However, I’m pretty sure if it had been up to me to get that van down the mountain, we would still be at Frontier Ranch.
I rode up and back to Colorado with my dear friend, Donna Hall, her son Tony, my three older kiddos and one Alex Heffington. There was some switching around of the kids here and there, but we always had at least seven in my little red chevy venture. In honor of the fact that today is her birthday, I thought I would share a short list of things that Donna and I learned together over the last week. I’m sure that many others can add to this list. Youth trips to Colorado are never, ever boring.
- The renegade run, Pinball, is still alive and well at Monarch.
- It will not be long before all of our kids ski or snowboard better and faster than both of us.
- Trees are kind of hard. You should try not to hit them with your body.
- Eleven and twelve year old boys can wash dishes in an industrial kitchen. (Umm, I am pretty sure that means they can do it at home, too!)
- Lower No Name is such a great run that it is worth sliding down Upper No Name on your rear to get to it. The fact that it is preceded only by steep black diamond runs might also explain why no one else was on it.
- Never assume that snowy, mountainous roads means that you are snowed in. In fact, I am pretty sure that “snowed in” is a relative term.
- Taido Chino only supplies information on a need-to-know basis. And he is completely unaware of how much Donna and I need to know.
- If the heat is out in your car, you can place a piece of cardboard in front of your radiator to force the heat of the engine back up into the car.
- Random, thoughtless solutions to clear the windshield should be first tested in one small corner on the right side of the windshield just in case they happen to backfire, further obstructing the vision of the driver.
- Toxic de-icer is not meant to be sprayed on the inside of your car. However, if you do spray it on the inside in a desperate attempt to see through your windshield, you won’t die. At least not immediately.
- If you blow the fuse to the TV in your car by plugging in a hair dryer in a futile attempt to defrost the windshield, the five children in your car will make it home without the TV. It won’t be pretty. And you might have to hand out tickets, but they will live.
- You can keep these five children from fighting for quite some time playing Karaoke with an iPod. Until there is an altercation over lyrics.
- All the correct words to Viva la Vida are just a phone call away. Cavalry instead of Catholic? Who knew?
- The speed limit in Kansas is 70mph.
- Carrots are by far the best driving food. The crunch keeps you awake.
- If you are tired of fast food, you can go to WalMart and buy a rotisserie chicken, pita chips, goat cheese and blackberries.
- Making extra food the week before a trip to Colorado is not a bad idea. You never know when you might be held up by a blizzard!
Taido and I fell into bed at 2am after the last kid had been shuttled home from Snowcamp ‘09. Epic as always. Our spring break adventures just keep getting better. Hopefully I won’t forget all the stories while I’m working my way out from under this pile.
Here’s the book discussion guide I used for our boxed lunch book club back in February The Sound of Waves by Yukio Mishima.
1. Love at first sight.
Here’s a quote from Chapter 2 (p.13) right after Shinji has seen Hatsue for the first time.
Shinji always went to sleep easily, but last night he had the strange experience of lying long awake. Unable to remember a day of sickness in his life, the boy had lain wondering, afraid this might be what people meant by sick.
Is this being in love? Why or why not?
Can you share a similar sleepless night experience?
Here’s another description of Shinji “in love?”
Ch. 3, p.21-22
Shinji was not at all given to brooding about things, but this one name, like a tantalizing puzzle, kept harassing his thoughts. At the mere sound of the name his cheeks flushed and his heart pounded. It was a strange feeling to sit there motionless and feel within himself these physical changes that, until now, he had experienced only during heavy labor.
He put the palm of his hand against his cheek to feel it. The hot flesh felt like that of some complete stranger. It was a blow to his pride to realize the existence of things within himself that he had never so much as suspected, and rising anger made his cheeks even more flaming hot.
Again, true love?
2. Discussion of Mishima’s descriptive writing:
Here is a description of Shinji’s boss in chapter 2 (p.14)
Jukichi Oyama, master fisherman, owner of the Taihei-maru, had a face like leather well-tanned by the sea winds. The grimy wrinkles on his hands were mixed indistinguishably with old fishing scars, all burned by the sun down into their deepest creases. He was a man who seldom laughed, but was always in calm good spirits, and even the loud voice he used when giving commands on the boat was never used in anger.
I love this description of Jukichi. To me, he is the strong, sure male in Shinji’s life. What kind of influence do you think he has on Shinji?
Are there other descriptions that stood out to you in Mishima’s writing?
Here’s another one I loved.
Ch. 2, p. 17
Lunchtime came. Jukichi dressed the flatheads on the engine-room hatch and cut them into slices. They divided the raw slices onto the lids of their aluminum lunchboxes and poured soy sauce over them from a small bottle. Then they took up the boxes, filled with a mixture of boiled rice and barley and, stuffed into one corner, a few slices of pickled radish. The boat they entrusted to the gentle swell.
I can smell the sea.
3. From Ch. 2, p. 19
Surrounded though he was by the vast ocean, Shinji did not especially burn with impossible dreams of great adventure across the seas. His fisherman’s conception of the sea was close to that of the farmer for his land. The sea was the place where he earned his living, a rippling field where, instead of waving heads of rice or wheat, the white and formless harvest of waves was forever swaying above the unrelieved blueness of a sensitive and yielding soil.
Even so, when that day’s fishing was almost done, the sight of a white freighter sailing against the evening clouds on the horizon filled the boy’s heart with strange emotions. From far away the world came pressing in upon him with a hugeness he had never before apprehended. The realization of this unknown world came to him like distant thunder, now pealing from afar, now dying away to nothingness.
What was your view of the wider world at the age of 18?
4. Chapter four is when Shinji and Hatsue have a chance meeting at the observation tower. It is a totally innocent and precious meeting, and when Shinji tells Hatsue his name but asks her not to tell anyone that he helped her find her way for fear of gossip…
Ch. 4, p. 32
Thus their well-founded fear of the village’s love of gossip changed what was but an innocent meeting into a thing of secrecy between the two of them.
What was the effect of Shinji and Hatsue’s having “a secret” between them?
5. From Ch. 5, p. 33
Until now the boy had been leading a peaceful, contented existence, poor though he was, but from this time on he became tormented with unrest and lost in thought, falling prey to the feeling that there was nothing about him that could possibly appeal to Hatsue. He was so healthy that he had never had any sickness other than the measles. He could swim the circumference of Uta-jima as many as five times without stopping. And he was sure he would have to yield to no one in any test of physical strength. But he could not believe that any of these qualities could possibly touch Hatsue’s heart.
Can you relate to this experience of having a peaceful, contented existence turn into a time of torment? Share about that.
6. Chiyoko
In Ch.8, p. 79, when Chiyoko is home from Tokyo, we get a glimpse of how she is different from the islanders.
Chiyoko began to long for Tokyo. She longed for the Tokyo where, even on such a stormy day, the automobiles went back and forth as usual, the elevators went up and down, and the streetcars bustled along. There in the city almost all nature had been put into uniform, and the little power of nature that remained was an enemy. Here on the island, however, the islanders enthusiastically entered into an alliance with nature and gave it their full support.
Explain to which view of nature you relate to more, the islanders’ or Chiyoko’s .
Ch. 11, p. 117
She feels badly about hurting Shinji and wants to make peace before she leaves, even though he doesn’t even know that she has done something to hurt him. So instead of apologizing she ends up asking him if he thinks her face is ugly.
Shinji’s answer was immediate. Being in a hurry, he escaped a situation in which too slow an answer would have cut into the girl’s heart.
“What makes you say that? You’re pretty,” he said, one hand on the stern and one foot already beginning the leap that would carry him into the boat. “You’re pretty.”
As everyone knew, Shinji was incapable of flattery. Now, pressed for time, he had simply given a felicitous answer to her urgent question.
The boat began to move. He waved back to her cheerfully from the boat as it pulled away.
And it was a happy girl who was left standing at the water’s edge.
Why do you think the author included this scene? What do you think is Chiyoko’s purpose in the story?
7. In Ch. 9, The idiot Yasuo has become obsessed with “possessing” Hatuse and basically the gods protect Hatsue through a hornet.
Then, in chapter 10, Yasuo, having failed in his goal of raping Hatsue, proceeds to spread rumors about her and Shinji instead that eventually reach Hatsue’s father.
What do you think is the purpose of Yasuo’s character. Is he real to you? Have you met someone like him?
In general, are the characters in The Sound of Waves real to you? Why or why not?
8. After everyone knows everything, Shinji is on the boat with his boss and friend reading the letter from Hatsue. His boss chides him about it all, but Shinji…
Ch. 11, p.112
Shinji…he was not sensitive and easily wounded the way a city-bred boy is during the time of his first love, and to Shinji the old man’s raillery was actually soothing and comforting rather than upsetting. The gentle waves that rocked their boat also calmed his heart, and now that he had told the whole story he was at peace; this place of toil had become for him a place of matchless rest.
This is why men go fishing, eh?
What do the men in your life do today that mirrors being out on a fishing boat?
Do you have a place of toil that can be a place of matchless rest when you are weary? What is it?
9. Shinji’s mother:
Ch. 12
Shinji’s mother feels the weight of her son’s unhappiness (can we all relate to this?) and so she goes to visit Hatsue’s father, but he won’t see her.
p. 129
The mother could not bring herself to tell her son about this fiasco of hers. Looking for a scapegoat, she turned her spite against Hatsue and said such bad things about her that, instead of having helped her son, she had a quarrel with him.
And further on p. 129
Thus in came about that because she had tried to do a good deed and had failed, the mother became lonelier than ever.
Can you tell about a time that your very best intentions for helping your child turned into a quarrel instead?
Why do these encounters tend to go so wrong?
Does anything good come of the mother’s failed “good deed?”
10. Ch 14
Shinji and Yasuo are both assigned to Hatsue’s father’s boat.
What do you think about this plan? (Terukichi’s motives are revealed to us later in Ch. 15 when he tells the Mistress Lighthouse Keeper his real reasons for putting Shinji and Yasuo on his boat together.)
Do you wish that our own marriages and those of our children were still decided by great feats of strength and courage?
What do you think about Terukichi’s declaration in Ch 15, p. 175 that
“if he’s got get-up-and-go, he’s a real man.”
How would you describe a real man?
This picture stopped me in my tracks. I thought it was worth seeing, so I swiped it off my friend, David’s blog. Thoughts?
Mary Polly said she remembers this exact scene being described in the book, Bud, Not Buddy.
I’ve been thnking a lot about our “standard of living” lately. Especially since listening to This American Life’s episode on the banking crisis that explains to normal people like me what in the heck is going on with our banks. It is well worth the listen for this explanation, but also for the poignant reminder that the banks have just given us what we’ve wanted…the American Way baby…
This post is written by guest blogger: Anna Davidson
I have suitcases piled up in my bedroom right now. Small lists are scattered on every surface as I’ve been scribbling things to remember to pack. Tomorrow we are embarking on a trip to Florida. We will drive 20 hours to get there. (Which by default means we will have to drive 20 hours to get back home at the end of the week). After what feels like 6 months of winter here in Chicago, I’m not sure there’s a limit to how far I would drive to sit in 80 degree weather and look at the ocean.
We are going to a beautiful beach called Siesta Key. It’s across a bridge from Sarasota. Thanks to a dear friend who lends us his condo–this will be our 3rd trip to this oasis. We manage to get there about every 2 years, which means this is the first time for little Phineas to go. I have a hunch he will love it like the rest of us. The soft white sand between his toes. A warm friendly cousin to the soft cold blanket that we’ve played in here for many months (think: snow pants instead of bathing suits). Grace and Emily have two favorite pastimes on the beach, being buried, and playing in a giant hole that Bob will dig for them when we get there. I dug out these pictures from the last time we were there. Think of us next week, playing in our beach holes, relaxing, reading, and enjoying some family time!
This post is written by guestblogger: Anna Davidson (my sister).
A
sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost. ~Marion C. Garretty
My oldest daughter asked me today, “Mom, will I ever have to babysit Emily?” (She’s 8 and asking about her 6 year old sister). “No,” I said. “Good,” was her answer. I’m witnessing a sisterhood in process with these two. There are many bumps in the road. At this stage, they: step on each other, spit toothpaste into each other’s hair, leave clothes and toys littered all over shared space (I think this bothers me more than either of them), and can annoy each other more than any other person on earth. But, they also share some sweet moments. They look out for each other at school, they miss the other when they’re gone, they offer each other a different perspective on life, a different lens to see things through. They are night and day, and can be so similar at the same time. Reminds me of someone I know…
My sister and I also had many bumps in the road. She blazed the trail for me when she started school. I would wait outside for her to come home every day during those 2 long years she went without me. She taught me how to make friends–but she was always better at keeping them. Probably because she didn’t hit them or call them names. Hmmm… She was my built in playmate during long breaks and family vacations.
She’s the one I can always call and say “Remember when…” She knows me in a way that no one else does. She’s seen me through it all–but as a peer, a fellow sojourner. So, what used to be our ability to cut straight to the heart and push those buttons in a heated fight or argument, has now become a tie that binds. An ability to help each other through hard things. Or help me gain a new angle when I’m stuck.
And, I’m a sister to someone else too… We’ve had two years with our youngest son and it’s given me some perspective on my brother’s life. He is caught somewhere between being tortured and doted on. Phineas brings a lightheartedness to our family. He makes us laugh and smile–which is why I like this picture of me and Alison and Peter. Peter did that too. I love being with my brother. He adds an element of fun and playfulness when he’s around. We always seem to be on the same page. And even though our shared language can be humorous belittling and therefore I so rarely say it, I have a tremendous amount of love and respect for my brother.
They are both a precious link to my childhood–and I am joyfully getting to see it replayed, with new characters and scenes at my house daily.
Children of the same family, the same blood, with the same first associations and habits, have some means of enjoyment in their power, which no subsequent connections can supply… ~Jane Austen, Mansfield Park, 1814
photo by Whitney Loibner
This is not your after school snack cookie. This cookie is for book club, for your valentine, for your late night trip to the cookie jar. In other words, this cookie is for adults. Or mature children, mature being defined here as lover of nuts and very dark chocolate.
When I need to make chocolate chip cookies for an event, my go to recipe is Smitten Kitchen’s favorite chocolate chip cookies. They are arguably the very best chocolate chip cookie in the whole wide world. Very. Best. What makes them so delicious is the chocolate chip to dough ratio is just what you’re looking for in a chocolate chip cookie. We make these so often that the kids can pretty much make them by themselves now to satisfy their hereditary cookie cravings.
As of late, per conversations with Whitney about how much we love nuts in our cookies, I have adjusted this recipe in a couple of ways that turn these perfect chocolate chip cookies into Alison’s perfect cookie, as in the perfect cookie for me. I have changed the chocolate chips to Ghirardelli’s 60% cacao chocolate chips, which give the cookie that bite that a dark chocolate lover is looking for. And I have reversed the measurements for the nuts and chocolate. At this point you are basically just having a handful of dark chocolate and nuts, with a little cookie dough mixed in. Hot out of the oven, these cookies make me swoon. But they are also going to hit the spot alongside a hot cup apres ski coffee in Colorado. They will be clearly marked, lots of nuts in these cookies…you don’t want them.
In case you are concerned about the freshness of these cookies that I made five days ago for a trip this week, I feel the need to share with you this handy dandy cookie tip I have learned from my sister who daily bakes up some of the best treats on earth at Honey Cafe.
Because she has to get a whole lot done in a short amount of time every morning, she has developed a lot of techniques for doing as much as possible ahead of time without altering the quality of the final product. Cookie dough tends to dry out in the refrigerator, so she scoops her dough ahead of time onto parchment, flash freezes the balls of dough and then tosses them in a ziplock back in the freezer. This way all she has to do in the morning is grab the already scooped balls out of the freezer and bake them, a step I saved for the morning before our trip. This is one tiny little example of the wealth of cooking secrets I have learned from my sister, who has graciously agreed to do a little guest posting for me while I am out. Lucky for you!
photo by Whitney Loibner
Chocolate Pecan Cookies
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
8 tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter at room temperature
1 large egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup whole wheat flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup Ghiradelli 60% cacao chocolate chips
1 1/2 cup walnuts or pecans, toasted and chopped
Beat the sugars and butters together until smooth. Mix in the egg, vanilla, and baking soda.
Stir together the flour and salt, then mix them into the batter. Mix in the chocolate chips and nuts.
Scoop the cookie dough onto parchment-lined baking sheets.
Bake for 18 minutes at 300 degrees, or until pale golden brown.
Simon: Come on. How can you not take me with you to Colorado? I even have the shirt!
Me: Sorry, buddy. Gotta be old enough to get down the mountain on your own.
Have a great week with your grandparents, your aunt and uncle and especially your cousins!
Happy Spring Break!
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