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…at the chino house.
Because my babies are growing up. I know that this should not surprise me. But still it does. It catches me off guard that my preteen does not want to hop in the car everytime I mention the library. I feel a little lost when I realize that my children have stopped gathering around me like ducklings. I still have one baby duckling of course. Then there are the middle two that come and go, but are starting to be more independent. And then there is the oldest, and he is trying to fly the coop.
One evening after VBS, Cole wanted to spend the night with some friends. Now, since it is summer, this is not unusual, but I had made plans…those four words, I had made plans, that right there is where I get into trouble. I like to make plans, and then I like for everyone to act like my plans are the greatest ideas they have ever heard of. Goody goody gumdrops! That’s what your children are SUPPOSED to say when you tell them your plans for the day. We are so happy that God made you our mother! Ok, that’s taking it a little far, but you get the point.
So, I had been chatting with a dear friend about ways to enlarge our creative minds this summer with some art projects, and she had graciously agreed to come over and help us stretch our own canvases as a fun start to summer art. It would involve a staple gun. And a hammer. And banging and large movement. This project was designed for a 12 year old boy.
But then, when presented with the oppurtunity to spend the night with friends, all of a sudden the art project had absolutely no allure. Let’s face it. Since it was my idea, it never had any allure for Cole. But I really felt that once we actually did it, he would get into it.
So I had to decide if I was going to make Cole be a part of the family art activity or go with his friends. It seems simple enough. The problem is that every decision seems to boil down to a decision between family and friends right now. And there is no way to make everyone happy. Since Cole was spending the night with two friends who happen to have mothers who are in my corner, we were able to work out a compromise where he got to spend the night, but then all three boys came and joined in the art project the next morning. Sound a little complicated? Throw in a devastated Ben who was not getting to have a sleepover and the possibility that I was going to overwhelm my friend with three middle school boys instead of just one.
It all turned out ok. Lora is brilliant and wonderful and we all stretched canvases together. It should, of course, come as no surprise to anyone that Cole’s friends, Alex and Tony, were WAY more into the project than Cole.
I tell you this story because most of our summer days have been like this so far. Navigating the span that my kids are currently covering is awkward for me, and I have not been doing it with much grace.
In fact, I recently realized that I’m grieving the way we are changing. I want to do summer as we have always done, where we go swim and read and camp and play, and though there are squabbles, we all enjoy the same activities. We at least all enjoy being in the same place. I’m not even going to delve into the matter of Cole’s disgust over our belonging to the family swimming pool instead of the other pool, you know, Mom, the one EVERYONE goes to.
Every day seems new and unfamiliar. I wonder if I will ever get the hang of it. I pray for wisdom to know which plans to hold onto and which ones to release. When to leave him behind and when to make him come along.
The Heaven Tree Trilogy is our summer selection for our boxed lunch book club. We are discussing one part of the trilogy during each of the summer months. Set in Medieval England on the border of Wales, the story is a complete departure from anything we’ve done so far in our book club. Kings and lords, thirteenth century politics and tales of passion, love and honor are all intertwined.
I first read this book about four years ago and I can’t believe how it has completely taken me in again, even though I already know what is going to happen. Good books are like good movies that way. When you watch/read them again, you are rooting and hoping for something other than that which you already know is coming. The inevitable. If the story were to unfold in any other way, it just would not be the same.
Edmund will allow himself to fall into the hands of the White Witch.
Macbeth will murder Macduff’s family.
Juliet will not wake up before Romeo kills himself.
Anne will refuse to marry Gilbert when he first proposes.
Pollyanna will fall out of the tree.
And Harry Talvace will be true to his word whatever the cost.
Questions for Discussion:
(don’t read if you are still needing to finish the book as there are “spoilers” in the questions!)
1. Early in the novel, the relationship between Harry and his father is strained as Harry becomes old enough to be trained in the running of the estate. Why do think this is? Do you see any way the story between father and son could have ended differently?
2. After Harry and Adam have run from their home and into the safety of the abbey, Harry is discussing their situation with Hugh de Lacy, the abbot, who says to him (p.70),
Harry, for God’s sake and for your own, bend that neck of yours before life bend it for you or tear your head from your shoulders. It is not possible to live as you want to live; every man must give way sooner of later, kings, popes, all who live yield some step backwards on occasion to remain upright and draw breath. Learn humility, while there’s yet time, before life teach you with harsher beatings than ever you suffered yet.
Would you have sided with Hugh de Lacy or Harry at this point in the story? Why?
3. Right after this encounter with the abbot, Harry, though discouraged, finds himself delighting in the world in spite of himself. “The world was busy and beautiful and diverse, no less now that the abbot had failed him; and for the life of him he could not help delighting in it.”
What makes this possible?
5. You want too much. Men, and countries, and causes fail you because you expect too much of them. Benedetta to Isambard (170)
She says this just before she agrees to go to Parfois with him as his mistress. Why do you think she decides to go?
6. Why do you think Harry is able to bind himself to Isambard so easily after having broken away from his childhood on an estate? (The incident with John the Fletcher and the dog (pp181-2) seems more harsh than any of Sir Eudo’s dealings with his villeins.)
7. One day at Parfois, Benedetta and Harry are talking about Prince Llewelyn’s bowing to King John. Benedetta defends the prince’s dignity in this action. There is a certain kind of pride that both Harry and Isambard share, an unwillingness to bow or humble oneself to another. When Harry challenges Benedetta on this same kind of humbling, she says “The pride of a woman must be a different kind of pride.” (p. 216) What does she mean by this?
8. What is the heaven tree?
9. Do you think that Isambard ever loved Benedetta? Explain.
10. Isambard says to Harry soon after his marriage to Gillies, (p.252),
“To have all!” The voice labored with astonishment and despair. “To have everything there is in life, even that last and greatest of all! What right has one man to so much? Where is God’s justice?”
Are there people in life who really have it all? Is Harry a Medieval Ferris Bueller? What is your response to people like Harry?
11. Gilleis experiences classic pregnant joy (p. 299) when she realizes that she is going to have a baby. Can you relate a time you were “filled to overflowing” in this way?
12. This quote on p. 316 in some ways sums up the entire book. At what point, if any, did you see that this was the course Harry’s life would have to take?
From Adam’s hand to Owen’s head, there was no inconsistency and no chance stroke. The deliberate assumption of responsibility, the affirmation and the challenge, had to be repeated over and over, because the world was still as it had been, and he was still as he had been, and as he would be to his death. Once he had set his own judgment against the world’s judgment, the end was implicit in the beginning. Somewhere at the bottom of his heart he had always known that the last choice he made in the teeth of power and privilege and law must be mortal, and that nonetheless he neither could nor would turn aside from making it.
So he had no just complaint against God or man, and he would prefer none. He had what he had chosen, he had never been one to haggle about the price.
13. Why doesn’t Harry take longer to finish his work when he knows what the end of his work will bring?
14. In the end, who do you think lost the most? Would you have changed anything about the story?
We’re getting ready for Vacation Bible School around here. Three Chinos are attending and the other three are helping. Tonight we were driving home and Cole was talking about doing the puppets at VBS. Then he asked me what I was doing.
Me: I’m telling Bible stories.
Cole: What Bible stories are you going to tell?
Me: Well, tomorrow night’s story is about Gideon.
Ben, from the back of the van: I LOVE GIDEON!
Me: Really, Ben, why?
Ben: That story is SO COOL!
Me, a little unsure that Ben really knows who Gideon is: Tell me the story Ben. Tell me why it’s cool.
Ben: Well Gideon is this guy who’s not really that strong, but an angel came to tell him to fight the, um, I can’t remember their names but they’re these bad people…
Me: The Midianites?
Ben: Yeah, them. And Gideon wanted some signs so he put out his fleece and it was dry and everything around it was wet and then the next night the opposite happened. So he went to fight the Midianites but there was too much. So he sent some away but there was still too much. Then finally there was just a little but they went at night and they WON THE ARMY!!
There you go.
I should just let him tell it.
We’ve only been out of school for a week, but we are in the thick of summer for sure! Even though this much activity makes me a little nervous, I am trying to adjust, hang on tight and enjoy the ride because I know it will all be over in a few short weeks.
Our first week of summer…in pictures:
We joined the summer reading program!
which means we get loads of little plastic toys! YES!
and we filled our baskets with books!
We went to see UP with our cousins and Grandjules, and we ALL LOVED IT! Go see it!
We went to see our friends, Michael and Sandy Boultinghouse which is always a delight!
All the boys got their crazies out!
And Mary Polly got her animal fix.
Sandy helped everyone with bait, while Michael coached Taido on the best spots to cast.
You might need your magnifying glass to see the fish Simon caught!
Plenty of room. Plenty of time.
This pavilion is one of my favorite places on earth to spend an afternoon. Michael built it and is always improving on it. He has plans for adding a smoker to the back.
Sunshine makes me sleepy.
Everyone gets a turn to stand in the hole and crank the ice cream at the Boultinghouses!
Note the lip in the concrete so all the melted ice drains off the pavilion!
The fish we caught is on the grill! Thank you Michael and Sandy for a wonderful meal and a lovely day!
After the relaxing day at the Boultinghouses, we were all geared up for our church’s 25th anniversary party! Highlights of the day included Cole’s singing in the youth choir and Ben’s being baptized by Taido, and in the same swimming pool where both Taido and I were baptized a long, long time ago. Thankfully, Whitney got pictures of both events.
photo by whitney loibner
photo by whitney loibner
photo by whitney loibner
photo by whitney loibner
photo by whitney loibner
photo by whitney loibner
photo by whitney loibner
On Monday, Cole and Taido left for D Camp, while the rest of us stayed behind and slowed down…our lower key events this week included:
collecting our first summer harvest!
(Actually, on the garden front, I’ve been engaged in an all out war with the bugs…more on my obsessing over little tiny bugs later!)
a trip to the pool in the cool of the morning (80 degrees here in arkansas)
playing with the coolest paper dolls EVER, ordered for us by our Aunt Whit!
making a NEW and IMPROVED summer chore chart!
and a HOMECOMING blackberry pie for our campers who came back home today! They are very tired, but maybe after they are rested up, we’ll hear all about camp!
Maybe Taido will even blog about it.
HAPPY SUMMER TO YOU!!
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